DreamFaerye's Xanga

I'm going to be a daddy.

Mon, 16 Nov 2009 19:36:32 GMT

At least, that's what Nik says.

I was telling her about wanting a baby and she says that I have her baby, Little Nicky. Which is kinda true, being an honorary second mother/aunt, but they live in Alabama, I'm in Texas.

She was watching Maury, cracking me up with her baby mama impressions when she turned to her mother and informed her that I was going to be her baby's daddy and said that I was going to fill out the father part of the birth certificate. I agreed and almost died laughing as her mother started screeching about us screwing up the baby.

I think we actually might try to do that, just to see the look on the hospital staff's faces and to give her mother a heart attack.

Done already...

Fri, 13 Nov 2009 01:35:05 GMT

I'm so over this job. I'm actually smiling cause I have no loyalty towards this company and have no second thoughts of quitting. I just need to find another job ASAP.

I signed up to do billing, not billing, technical support, AND sales. And definitely not all that for just $8.50 an hour.

Any man who tells his pregnant wife, who is on her way to the hospital so she doesn't miscarriage, that she looks like shit deserves to be shot.

I'm probably going to have to break my lease and move somewhere else. Oh well.

I feel really.....free right now. Happy. Please let this continue!

Bitchin'

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:16:41 GMT

First off, thanks for all the comments last post!

I love you guys!

Now, on to my whining :

Sir, if you are rushing to catch a flight, why would you call customer service to pay your bill? Hmm? Really, does that make any fucking sense?! Then get pissy at me when we are only 3 mins and 27 secs into the call about it taking too long. Your dumb ass should have called earlier! THEN you asked for a supervisor? Seriously? KNOWING that it would take even longer for me to get one then it would for me to process the damn payment! Jerkwad.

Ma'am, having me explain the same charges six different times isn't going to change them. Just sayin.

1 month, just 1 month.

Pullo is sick.

He's been throwing up and pooping all over the house. So now my apartment smells like vinegar from me trying to get the stains out of the carpet. Fantastic.

I'm caught up with Xanga posts, on to YOUtube.

Fatass!

Mon, 09 Nov 2009 02:23:22 GMT

Only I can gain 4.8 lbs in one week!

Okay, that's a little dramatic. But I'm so pissed at myself.

TOM was here but I will not use that as a excuse. Maybe if it was only like 2 lbs, I could. But 4.8?! No, missy, that was all the crap you shoved down your throat. Missing my friends and getting depressed didn't help the binge either.

It's a new week. And you can bet money I'll be busting my ass so the scale can go back in the right direction!

I want a baby.

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 03:34:30 GMT

I'm serious.

I want to be a mama so bad. I think about it everyday.

God, I'm so weird.

What 23 year old thinks about being a mother constantly?!

Shouldn't I be thinking about school, clubbing, boyfriend/girlfriend, shopping or some shit like that?

My psyche is all messed up.

Maybe I'm impatient to be what my mama wasn't.

The only love I feel right about is the love for my future children.

Logic says it can't happen right now. I have no money. I don't want my kid to know hunger and filth like I did.

I also don't want her to know a cold, emotionless mother. That is what I am, cold. Unable to express what I feel. Except anger. Always rage.

I want my kid to know love. I want to be able to hug without flinching. To smile with my lips and my eyes. I want my heart to ache with happiness, not sadness and pain.

What about a dad? A sperm donor? How can I create life when I can't stand to be touched? Who would want me anyway?

I cry because I'm afraid I'll be like this forever.

Alone in neverending darkness.

WI and Christmas Challenge

Tue, 03 Nov 2009 03:13:01 GMT

Hey my Xanga babes!

Sorry I've been MIA. I am not a morning person at all so getting up at 6am is killing me! The job is going good, though I almost threw up today because we started taking live calls. Can you say CHAOS?! >.< I was luckier than some of my classmates who got cussed out and hung up on. Internet billing/technical support is brutal business.

The getting up early in the morning combined with the hour change (stupid Daylight Savings) has left me feeling sleep deprived and pissy. But....I'm happy. Grumpy but happy if that's possible! Terrified about where my decisions are leading me but still happy!

WI was Sunday and I lost another 2.4 lbs!

Just taking this a day at a time. My goal for this month is to get back into a gym routine of sorts. I really hate Ballys! Ugh! I miss the Y so much. But dammit, I paid for the membership and I'm going to use it. Can you believe they want to charge extra for Zumba?! Really? Asshats.

I also want to start the 100 PushUp and 200 Situp challenges.

In an effort to push myself out of my shell, I brought a freakin $20 webcam and joined a YOUtube challenge!

Crazy, I know. So now the whole world can watch me fall flat on my face.

Nice.

Oh well. Stiff upper lip and all that.

Memo to self: record SW video tomorrow after work.

My beautiful baby cousin Jai turned 11 on Halloween! I sent her my last $10.

Oh, NSV: I have a fridge full of (good!) food and I have kept track of where every little cent has gone since payday! :D So I know why I'm broke. LOL

So apparantly, Edward is one of those characters that I just hate no matter the story. *rolls eyes* Whether he's written as the hero or not, he still comes off as a pompous ass.

Edit: I forgot to tell ya'll about the Nikki drama this morning. Getting ready for work, she calls me, I answer the phone, and she is just crying like she was dying. I swear, I lost my breathe, I thought she had lost the baby or something but no, she just cried for like ten minutes about how much she misses me! I thought something else triggered it and she was just like 'I miss you, I miss your face and spending time with you.' Then she told me not to laugh at her (I wasn't), it was just the pregnancy hormones. Well after work she called again, we talked and she told me that her dumb ass baby daddy was over her house this morning. They had saw a commerical for 2012, he said they were going to see it and she replied 'You're going to go see it, I'm waiting for my best friend to take me.' (I had told Nikki last week that I was going to take her to see that movie.) He has never met me so she launched into the story of how we met (cute story, I'll tell later) and how long we've been best friends, etc. He gets pissed and says 'You'll leave me for a girl, wouldn't you?' to which she replied 'I'll leave you for my damn self!' Then he says something about how Nikki sounded like she was talking about her lover, not her friend. Nikki gets pissed, goes into the restroom, starts crying and calls me. WHY do I have to go through this crap all the damn time?! Her ex-husband was always accusing Nikki of fucking me, all her boyfriends have acted like I'm competition. In a way, I am but NOT LIKE THAT!

Survey thingie

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 03:51:33 GMT

Be honest, do you miss your ex?
Don't have an ex.

Ever kissed a brown eyed person?
Yes.

Have you ever kissed a person with a tattoo?
Yes.

What color are your eyes?
DBrown

Do you enjoy going through a carwash?
Yes.

How did you get one of your scars?
When I was a kid, the top of the back of the toilet sliced through my hand.

Ever called a person useless?
Not that I can remember.

Do you like the snow?
It's been years since I've seen any, it's ok.

Is your sister a slut?
No.

Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is okay?
Yes

Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?
Yes.

Which did you discover first, Myspace or Facebook?
Myspace

Have you ever been in trouble for something you honestly didn't do?
yep

Is there something that happened when you were younger that you really hate talking about?
yes.

Do you dislike the last person you kissed?
No.

Closer to your mom or dad?
closer to my mom

When you trip, do you get embarrassed or just play it off?
I ignore it and pretend it never happened.

Do you consider yourself spoiled?
No.

Let's test your memory, what color shirt were you wearing during your last kiss?
blue

Have you ever slapped someone?
Yes.

Do you find it hard to trust others?
Yes.

Does anyone call you babe or baby?
occasionally.

Have you kissed the last person you texted?
Can't remember the last person I texted.

What/who woke you up this morning?
three alarms

How long does it take you to fall asleep?
20 mins?

Do you prefer to take showers at night or in the morning?
either

What would your name be with just the first three letters?
Sha

Where did you sleep two nights ago?
on the floor

Who was the last person in your bedroom besides you?
Mrs. Allison

Does anyone disgust you?
Yes

What do you tend to drink a lot of?
Water. Tea.

What do you think of girls with huge boobs that don't wear bras in public?
as long as they are perky.....

Who is the smartest person you know?
Tough one...

What do you think of the movie district 9?
Didn't see it.

If you could punch someone in the face right now would you?
depends on the person

What color is the shirt your wearing?
green

Who was last person in/on your bed besides you?
NA

What's your mood?
full

Do you have any pets?
Pullo

Are you hungry?
no. just ate peanut butter/jelly sandwich

Are you happy with your life?
right now at this second, yes

What color is your hair?
dark brown reddish black.

Are you cold at this very moment?
no.

Is there anyone in the room with you?
Pullo

Are you married?
no

Have you ever been out of state?
yes

What color eyes do you prefer in the opposite sex?
don't care as long as they are vivid.

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Of course.

Have you ever woke up crying from a bad dream?
Yes.

Do you have kids?
No, but hopefully someday.

What are your plans for this weekend?
Chillin.

Do you cuss often?
Yes

Do you have a good relationship with your mother?
Yes.

Are you a mean person?
No.

Do you think relationships are even worth it?
I guess

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
Sure

Are you in a good mood right now?
I'd say so.

Are you currently wanting any piercings or tattoos?
Three tats.

Do you miss anyone?
a little.

Are you waiting for a phone call?
no

Have you ever been with someone while they were throwing up?
Yep

If you were kicked out of your house, where would you go first?
Don't jinx me!

Did the last person who hurt you, ever apologize?

Eventually

When was the last time you had your hair cut?
couple of months ago

Whats the first thing you heard this morning?
alarm

Could you go a month without talking to your best friend?
Yes, I've had to before. I'd rather not, though.

Are there any bruises on your body that are the result of stupidity?
No.

Where is your phone?
on my desk

Is it more common for you to follow your heart or your mind?
I'm not sure. I follow both at times.

Do you think age matters in relationships?
No, but I might be biased. Realistically, it's probably better to be with someone you can grow old with. However, I personally dislike most of the people who are my own age.

Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
no.

Who did you last take a picture with?
I don't even remember.

When was the last time you saw someone attractive?
today

Are you gonna get high later?
No

Who are you texting?
No one

How late did you stay up last night and why?
3:00..hard for me to sleep sometimes

What do you currently hear right now?
Saosin 'You're Not Alone'

When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?
Yesterday

Who was the first person you talked to today?
Pullo

Have you lost contact with someone you wish you didn't?
Yes

What's something you do when you're mad?
Clam up and feel my blood pressure go up

Are you a patient person?
sometimes

Would you rather be mad or sad?
Mad. I'd choose mad any day.

If you could go back in time and change something, would you?
Yes. ALOT of things

Is there someone you just can't imagine your life without?
a few people

If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be?
can't even remember who I texted last

Were you happy when you woke up today?
So-so. I'm not a morning person.

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
Hope not.

When you say you don't care do you mean it?
Sometimes

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
ha. YES.

Do you regret anything that you’ve done in your past?
many many things

Are you stubborn?
YES.

Do you have a reason to smile right now?
sure.

Is there anybody you wish you could spend time with right now?
Yes.

Could you go a whole year without cursing?
I did it when I was younger..soo...maybe lol?? I doubt I could go a whole year without muttering at least something.

Will you be in a relationship next month?
Probably not.

Have you ever kissed anyone with a name that started with B or D?
Yes

Three names you go by?
Shari, Grasshopper, ?

What are you wearing right now?
jeans and tshirt

What's your mood?
neutral....trying to make myself go to sleep

Have you ever been given a rose?
Yes.

Have you ever licked a photo?
no

Have you ever been in love?
No.

Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
*shrugs*

What's your current problem??
money....but that's always my problem!

Have you ever had your heart broken?
Yes.

Do you have a crush?
Not currently

How many kids do you want to have?
more than 2

Whats your favorite color??
Red

Have you ever found it hard to tell anyone you love them?

Yes

Imagine you're 40 & your spouse just died would you get re-married?
after some time and if I find the right person

What song do you want played at your wedding?
I'm not girly enough to plan that kind of thing.

Do you like/love anyone?
I love some people...but not like that.

Have you ever wrote a love song/ poem/ letter/ note?
yes

Do you want to get married?
Truthfully, yes..but not anytime soon.

Did you have a good day today?
Pretty good.

Where did you just get back from?
Taking Pullo for a walk.

What are you thinking about?
going to sleep

Do you get along with others well?
sometimes, I'm a bit awkward.

Would you ever go back to any of your past relationships?
No past relationships

Who's the closest person/people around you?
Perhaps my neighbors? I'm home alone.

A turnaround?

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 02:37:53 GMT

I lost 4.4 lbs this week.

I'm very nervous.

More Movies to See:

Maybe?

Rob does it again....

Sun, 25 Oct 2009 03:39:17 GMT

Nikki (BFF) watched Twilight for the first time yesterday.

She hasn't read the books and she has no intention to but RP is now in her top 5 of men she wants to fuck.

She watched the movie in full once then rewatched her favorite parts 4 more times. Being that this is Nikki, she's quite pissed at the lack of sex in the movie. She called me and described the three scenes that she insists should have been followed with sex. I was laughing so damn hard on the phone with her.

Now I'm just wanting on the call about the RP dream. Have yall ever heard of how vivid pregnant women' dreams are? Nik had a dream about Johnny Depp a while back and she swears it was so real, she woke up.....satisfied and expecting Johnny to be in the bed next to her. She even wrote it down! LOL

Thanks Rob.

Late....(kind of a long post)

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 05:26:52 GMT

I think my period is late. If it doesn't come soon, something could be really wrong.

Thanks for all your comments on my last post! I think I'm going to start simple and just jot down where every single cent goes. Get myself a little notebook just for that.

My sleep has been so off lately. I'm talking 1-2 hours of sleep every night! Tomorrow is my last working day at the VA. I process out on Friday. So hopefully I'll be able to get back on some type of sleep schedule again.

I'm kinda freaked about this new job. It's been a long time since I've done the call center thing and I've never done it at home. :(

My eating has been good. Hoping for a good WI on Sunday.....if TOM doesn't come.

Sooooooo, who's going to see New Moon? I still haven't decided if I'm going. I mean, I'm Team Jacob but the first and last part of the book pissed me off SO bad! And seriously, it was NOT fair for them to cast Robert as Edward because he makes me kinda forget what a jerkface Edward is! Robert and Kirsten are just too good together.

Of course, I wanna see this

and this

but drooling over this

makes me feel like a total pedophile!

Agh!

Desi is going, of course. Her and her crew already got their tickets for the very first 12:01 screening, which sold out in like 10 minutes! She was telling me about getting some New Moon shirts for the screening. Like 99% of my Twilight friends, she's Team Edward so she wants the one that says I run with Vampires or something like that. She's even got some Amber colored contacts. LOL Did I mention the vampire tat? Cause I knew it would make her practically orgasmic, I brought her a bottle of this new lotion from Avon. It's a shimmer lotion for the holidays, it smells AMAZING and gives your skin a subtle and sexy sparkle (if you wanna order some, let me know! ). She LOVED it! She walked me to the bus elevator after work and we talked about her possibly going back to her crazy ass ex girlfriend and her current boyfriend. She called herself a money grubing whore and said that's why all her friends drop cash like they do. I asked her why did she hang with my broke ass then and she laughed, gave me a squeeze and said it's because I rock!

I was reading this fanfic that NoSelfDestruct recommended and I found two other ones on the website:

Bridge Over Troubled Water

Imprinted

READ THEM! Sooo good! I love my Emmett but I never thought of him and Bella together.

On to other things.....

Thanks to Learning Moderation , I've been checking out WL logs on YOUtube. You should check out this chick: WholeWheatSandwich . Such a wonderfully unique, funny girl. She had me laughing and crying last night.

Just because:

Finishing off with the trailers of two movies I want to see: